Having An Outdated Identity

We have a vision of our life, also called an identity. It is "who we are" based on socially acceptable labels. It includes items like what we like and don't like, what we do and how we look. Each time someone asks, “So what do you do with yourself?”, you respond with something from your vision. Maybe you reply with your job, relationship status or family situation. There is, unfortunately, a problem with identities.

We assume two things. Firstly, we believe this vision or identity is true in a universal way. We aren't holding the label the labels are us. Secondly, we think the identity is up to date. Both of these have inherent issues that bias us, resulting in actions that are counterproductive at best.

We gather and discard labels as life continues. We hold some labels for a lifetime; a name or a country of birth. At any moment in time, we will have a set of labels. If you look back, this will be a different set to the ones you had as a child. However imagine if you were picked up and transported to a foreign country, changing your name and situation. This move would drop many foundational labels, and yet you would still be you. You don't need a name to be you. You are you without a job. You labels are something "you" have, but that labels are not "you". When we understand that the labels aren't you, you then run into the issue of accuracy.

By having a label, we assume it is correct. However, your identity is constantly changing. What shocks me is when I have a realisation that a label I hold is out of date and coming to terms with that is tough.

I had a label that I am a fit-looking person and now I see this label is now out of date. I am no longer a fit-looking person. I am a fat-looking person. When I was looking in the mirror or thinking about my body, I was applying the fit-looking person label, that previously fit. The realisation was almost frightening. I realised the label was out of date by looking at the scale; the number was too high for the label. I couldn't justify to myself holding it any longer. Now I am dealing with the facts of the situation I am in.

A few years ago, when asked me about myself; I said, "I go to the gym". This was a mental label I had attached to myself. After I spoke those words, I asked myself, “When actually was the last time I went to the gym?” It was over six months earlier. Again - it was out of date.

Being aware of the labels means you can actively handle them and ensure that the ones you are using are still correct. You might shock yourself as to what ones you find that a no longer a match, but are still stuck on.

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